Study Guide for "Teach Truth with Love"

Elder Clark G. Gilbert teaches that disciples of Jesus Christ stand for truth and show love together. Building on counsel from President Dallin H. Oaks, he presents five principles for approaching challenging conversations with conviction and charity. His invitation calls us to examine our own hearts rather than focus on others’ shortcomings. As you study, consider how the Savior helps you remain faithful to His teachings while listening, showing compassion, and strengthening relationships.

Before Reading

Before reading or listening to the talk, consider the following questions:

Why does standing for truth with love require courage?
When do I tend to emphasize truth without enough love, or love without enough commitment to truth?
How can listening and personal example prepare others to receive gospel truth?
What is the difference between loving someone and condoning sin?
Which Christlike attributes do I most need in difficult conversations?

Topics

Avoid Contention and Recognize Hidden Pain

Elder Gilbert teaches that standing for truth does not require responding to every challenge. Choosing silence or postponing a discussion can preserve peace when a setting becomes contentious. He reminds us that apparent hostility may reflect unseen pain and that winning an argument does not compensate for losing the Spirit or failing to help someone.

First, avoid overly contentious settings.

There are times when being a peacemaker means that we resist the impulse to respond and instead, with dignity, remain quiet.

Sometimes what we perceive as hostility may actually be someone’s hidden pain or regret.

I may have won the debate in the moment, but I lost the Spirit and I failed to help my struggling friend.

Why can remaining quiet be an expression of peacemaking rather than a failure to stand for truth?
How does recognizing possible hidden pain change the way we interpret someone’s criticism?
What does Elder Gilbert’s experience with his struggling friend teach about the difference between winning a debate and helping a person?
What signs help me recognize that a conversation is becoming too contentious to be productive?
When someone criticizes my beliefs, what assumptions do I make about their motives? How can I leave room for struggles I cannot see?
What can I do in my next tense conversation to preserve the Spirit and respond with charity?

Find Common Ground Through Patient Listening

Elder Gilbert teaches that listening before responding helps us understand people’s struggles and build common ground. In his ministering experience, the Spirit prompts him to wait rather than interject, allowing him to recognize the individuals’ heartfelt efforts. This understanding prepares him to extend an invitation from a place of love.

A second way to stand for truth with love is to first find common ground.

As I listened to their stories, I was tempted at times to interject, but the Spirit kept prompting me to wait.

Resisting the impulse to initially respond built common ground, which allowed me later to teach from a place of love.

How does patient listening help Elder Gilbert understand the people he ministers to?
What role does the Spirit play in his decision not to interject?
How does the principle that the Lord loves us first illuminate our efforts to teach others?
Whom can I listen to more patiently instead of preparing an immediate response?
What sincere questions can I ask to better understand that person’s concerns and hopes?
How can I show love before extending an invitation or explaining a gospel principle?

Be a Light by Keeping Your Covenants

Elder Gilbert emphasizes that personal faithfulness is a powerful way to help others. Keeping our own covenants and showing genuine love for the Lord allow others to see the blessings of discipleship. He teaches that a believing example can create opportunities that pointed arguments cannot.

Let your skeptical friends see how much you love the Lord and His gospel. Surprise their doubting hearts with your believing heart!

The best way to help someone else keep their covenants is to keep your covenants.

Being a light opens more doors than any pointed argument ever will.

Why does Elder Gilbert direct our attention to keeping our own covenants when we want to help others keep theirs?
How does being a light differ from trying to persuade someone through a pointed argument?
How does his experience with academic leaders illustrate the value of a peaceful, faithful example?
What does my daily conduct communicate about my love for Jesus Christ and His gospel?
Which covenant commitment needs more attention in my life right now?
How can I share the joy of discipleship with someone I love without pressuring or arguing with them?

Hold to Truth While Loving Others

Elder Gilbert teaches that loving others does not mean surrendering gospel values or minimizing God’s commandments. The Savior offers love and forgiveness while continuing to call people to repent. Putting love for God first strengthens our capacity to love His children because we join Him in caring for them.

As near as I can tell, Christ never once withheld His love from anyone, but He also never once said to anyone, ‘Because I love you, you are exempt from keeping my commandments.’

Putting the first commandment first does not diminish or limit our ability to keep the second commandment. To the contrary, it amplifies and strengthens it.

When we try to love others by minimizing God’s laws, we separate ourselves from the one person who loves them the very most.

The Savior showed love for the woman taken in adultery. But He also charged her to “go, and sin no more.”

What distinction does President Holland make between forgiving sin and condoning it?
Why does putting the first commandment first strengthen our ability to keep the second?
How does the Savior’s response to the woman taken in adultery demonstrate both love and commitment to truth?
In what situations do I feel pressure to choose between showing love and honoring God’s commandments?
How can I communicate both genuine care and clear commitment to gospel truth in one of those situations?
How does drawing closer to God help me care more fully for someone whose choices differ from my beliefs?

Anchor Your Words and Actions in Jesus Christ

Elder Gilbert invites us to make Jesus Christ our anchor as we stand for truth with love. He contrasts loud, boastful messages with Heavenly Father’s simple, quiet communication and asks us to examine our conduct through the scriptural description of charity. His closing invitation emphasizes that some disciples need greater conviction and others need greater charity, with the Lord helping both.

The fifth principle then is to stay anchored in Jesus Christ.

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in … truth.

For disciples of Jesus Christ, truth and love always walk together.

For some this will require greater conviction. For others it will demand greater charity.

Which qualities of charity help disciples stand for truth without becoming contentious?
How does the contrast between boastful messages and quiet, plain communication guide the way we speak?
Why does Elder Gilbert invite some disciples to develop greater conviction and others greater charity?
Which attribute in Moroni 7:45 most needs to shape my conversations right now?
As I examine my own heart, where do pride, jealousy, or irritability interfere with teaching truth with love?
What specific step can I take this week to strengthen both my conviction and my charity through Jesus Christ?